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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24517213">Home for Me is Where You Are</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtosingit/pseuds/howtosingit'>howtosingit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>30 Days of Tarlos/30 Songs of Tarlos [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Related Overdose, Drug Addiction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Firefighter!Carlos, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Recovery, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:01:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,412</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24517213</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtosingit/pseuds/howtosingit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“They tell me that I’ll make it / it’ll only be a while / but a while lasts forever without you”</p><p>*</p><p>AU. Carlos and TK are firefighters for the NYFD 252 and they’re best friends, but just when their relationship begins to transition into something deeper, TK discovers a secret about his father that threatens to destroy him completely.</p><p>30 Days of Tarlos/30 Songs of Tarlos - Day 2: “Take Me Home” by Us the Duo</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes/TK Strand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>30 Days of Tarlos/30 Songs of Tarlos [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770025</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Home for Me is Where You Are</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is an AU that plays with a lot of elements from canon, so I hope you’ll give it a chance. It does have a nice bit of angst in it, too. Basically, we’re starting at the pilot episode, and while there’s no Alex, TK’s history with addition is still very present. Also, Carlos is a NYC firefighter because we all know he could rock any uniform.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>------------</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Day 1 </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey TK!” his dad yells out, causing him to turn away from the lights that he’s cleaning on the top of the engine to look down below. “Come down here for a minute.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nods, tossing his rag to the side as he turns to descend down the side of the truck. He looks over at his dad midway down and sees a man next to him in uniform. TK notes two things with particular interest: one, the man is absolutely gorgeous, unfairly so, and two, his eyes are fixed on TK as he makes his way down. With a slight jump down to the ground, he turns to move towards the pair, watching the stranger noticeably swallow as his eyes move up to TK’s face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“TK, this is Carlos Reyes,” his dad says, gesturing to the man. “He’s our new hire from Texas.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right,” TK says, smiling as he holds out his hand. Carlos’s grip is firm as his eyes lock onto TK, his lips rising into a small smile as well. “TK Strand. Glad to have you with us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Strand?” Carlos questions, raising an eyebrow as he looks between the two of them. “As in…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My son, yes,” Owen says, nudging TK gently. “But don’t worry, I don’t play favorites. And if I did, it wouldn’t be him,” he jokes. TK huffs out a laugh, shaking his head at his dad’s poor excuse for humor. “TK,” his dad continues, “you’re going to be working with Carlos to get him up to speed, okay? Play nice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And with that, he disappears, leaving them alone. There’s a moment of silence as they stare at each other, TK biting on his lip. Finally, Carlos breaks the ice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, TK, huh?” Carlos says, smiling again. “Do I get to know what that stands for?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK’s face splits open into a smile as he laughs, wondering if Carlos’s bright, happy disposition is going to be as infectious as it is mesmerizing.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You definitely do not,” TK says, smirking as he turns to walk further into the station. “Let’s go, newbie. You’re on New York time now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Day 171 / (Day 9)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s the middle of the night, and TK finds himself once again staring up at the bare white ceiling of his sparsely-furnished room, his thoughts turning, as they always do, to the two men who he desperately wishes he could see in-person right now. He spoke to his dad just this afternoon, so he knows he’s doing okay — his treatments are taking a toll, but he’s holding his own. TK could hear the exhaustion in his voice, as much as his dad tried to hide it, but his father assured him that it was nothing he couldn’t handle. TK knows that his father is dealing with his own guilt for not telling him about his cancer diagnosis, aware that TK’s accidental discovery of it is not entirely disconnected from his return to pills. TK knows he can’t blame anyone else for his problems, but he worries about how they’ll move past their individual guilt to fix their relationship.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tonight, however, his thoughts drift in a more positive direction, towards Carlos and the nights they spent at his apartment, lounging on the couch in their sweats after a long day at work. TK remembers so many things about those nights - the greasy pizza, the terrible reality television, the dumb jokes. He remembers Carlos’s cold feet that, no matter how many pairs of socks he wore, would always send a terrible chill through TK when Carlos pressed them against him under the blanket, the man letting out a deep laugh as TK jumped away from his ice-cold toes. More than anything, he remembers the lingering looks, Carlos’s soft eyes locked on his as they rested their head against the back of the couch, separated by just a few feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hasn’t seen or heard from his best friend in nine days -- not since his dad, Carlos, and the rest of their team found him unconscious on his living room floor, an empty pill bottle at his side. TK remembers, in the most vivid detail, coming to with a sharp gasp, immediately turning over to clear his stomach before pulling himself into his dad’s chest. He remembers feeling a second pair of hands rubbing up and down his back and turning slightly to see Carlos, his face soaked with his tears, his anguish clear. TK had pulled his friend closer as he whispered apologies to the two most important people in his life, feeling like he had let them both down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every day since then, TK has thought about his many regrets. He regrets taking his first pill, he regrets every pill after that, he regrets not talking to his dad, and he regrets not climbing across the couch all of those months ago to fold himself into Carlos’s strong, steady arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He regrets not giving them more time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Day 146</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he and Carlos tumble out of the club, both completely sober but drunk on life, TK lets out a loud yell of exhilaration. He hears Carlos laugh behind him before he feels his best friend come up next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. TK falls into him, curling an arm around his waist like it’s second nature. He lets out a laugh, raising his face to the open sky above. “Oh my god,” he says, “that was incredible. I’m going to be so fucking tired tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter,” Carlos says, pressing his head against TK’s as they start to walk down the sidewalk toward their subway station. “Getting to dance like that, with you, I don’t care how tired that makes me, I could do it for the rest of my life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK feels his heart swell as his grip tightens on the man next to him. “You know, I saw like five or six guys in there try to get you alone. I bet one of them would’ve loved to take you home with them,” he says, aiming for nonchalance as he looks over at Carlos with a raised eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos huffs, rolling his eyes as he looks back. “Don’t you even act like there weren’t the same amount of guys trying to get a grip on you, Tyler Kennedy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK pushes Carlos away with a shout of protest, turning to start down the stairs towards the downtown train. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, don’t be mad at me,” Carlos says, and TK can hear him trying to catch up. “It’s not my fault you lost a bet and had to tell me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I regret that bet more than you will ever know,” TK says, strolling along the platform before coming to a stop. “I still don’t know how you beat me on that training course. You’re a massive person, you’re not supposed to move that fast.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos laughs again and </span>
  <em>
    <span>damn it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, TK loves that sound so much. He turns to his friend to find him smiling with his dimples out in full-force, his eyes twinkling brightly in the dim light. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You promised me your best-kept secret,” Carlos replies, shrugging as they step onto the train and take empty seats next to one another. “I was very determined to win.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They fall into comfortable silence as the train begins to move towards Brooklyn. TK sighs, thinking about how relaxed and happy he feels right now. It’s been so long since he’s had a night out to unwind; he’d been meaning to show Carlos his favorite midtown club for months, but tonight was the first night where they were both free to make the trip into the city. At this point he feels like he’s revealed so much of himself to Carlos over the past few months, and it sends his heart racing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, at the next station, Carlos shifts, bringing his arm around TK again to rest against the back of the seat. TK shifts too, turning into his friend’s side, their legs pressing together. For the next few stops, they engage in a combative game of footsie. TK doesn’t really know what’s happening, but he feels a fire growing inside of him. The closer they get to his stop, the more alive he feels. It’s like a hum, building with each moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they near his station, he rises, turning towards Carlos. Normally, they would separate here, with Carlos staying on for a few more minutes before reaching home. TK stares down at his friend, shocked to see a quiet intensity there as they lock gazes. Before he can second guess it, he hears himself say, “Get off with me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos’s eyes widen, his jaw clenching slightly as he noticeably swallows. He doesn’t speak, but he rises from his seat anyway, reaching out for TK’s hand and intertwining their fingers. They don’t speak as they get off the train and head towards TK’s place. He feels like his heart is going to explode the entire walk there, the hum having transformed into a full-out drum solo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK drags Carlos into his apartment, slamming the door behind them. Without warning, Carlos crowds him against the wall, raisings his arms to brace himself against it. They stare at each other for a moment before TK’s eyes move down to Carlos’s lips. His best friend gasps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You sure about this?” TK whispers. Carlos stares back at him, moving closer until TK can feel his warm breath on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been sure about this since day one, Ty,” Carlos breathes out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too,” TK says, moving forward to press their lips together in a kiss five months in the making.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Day 252 / (Day 90)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK stares down at the bag on his bed, experiencing an odd sense of deja vu. It’s fully packed for the first time in months, but he remembers when he first arrived how he stared down at this same bag on this same bed that he wasn’t his, in a room that was so unfamiliar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t believe he actually did it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the past three months, this bag full of his personal things has been his only tangible connection to who he was before he got here. For the first week, he clutched this bag to his chest as he cried himself to sleep, wishing desperately to be back in his own bed with his own sheets, surrounded by everything that made him feel like himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lets out a breath, closing his eyes and counting to ten. The past ninety days haven’t been easy, but he refuses to sink back into his darkest days. He remembers the good ones, like when his dad visited a month ago on family day and they pretended that they had any interest in fishing on the facility’s lake while they soaked each other in, so happy to be sharing space again. He was so close to seeing that familiar face, and he really couldn’t wait. In fact, TK thinks, looking down at his watch, his dad should be arriving any minute. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moves over to the window, looking down at the green lawn as residents mill about, and a therapy group gathers at a group of picnic tables for a session. He’s not going to miss this place one bit, but he’s proud of the work that he’s done here. He’s proud of the person that he’s become here, and the person that it will allow him to be when he leaves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a gentle tap on his open door and he turns, expecting to see his father’s slightly weathered face, but instead he’s met with a very different sight. He freezes, his breath catching in his throat as he stares at those soft brown eyes that he has dreamed of every night for the past three months, those soft curls that he has pictured during every phone conversation that they’ve had together in their time apart. He can feel his eyes sting as he takes in his best friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Carlos,” he cries, moving quickly across the space towards him. Carlos’s arms open immediately, welcoming him in as he collapses into his sturdy embrace, those strong arms wrapping around him tightly in one of the best hugs he’s ever received. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s still crying, and he can feel himself shaking, but he’s not the only one. Carlos is practically vibrating all around him, and TK feels the unmistakable dampness of tears on his neck where Carlos has buried his face. Time passes but he doesn’t care to know how much. He could stay here in these arms forever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought my dad was coming,” he finally says, turning his head as he presses his face in Carlos’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He was going to,” Carlos says, also not pulling away. If anything, he tightens his hold. “But I think he could tell I was kind of desperate to see you, so he let me come instead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TK pulls back slightly, soaking in Carlos’s beautiful face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve missed you so much, Ty,” Carlos continues, “I can’t even begin to tell you how much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sees fresh tears forming in Carlos’s eyes, and his heart shatters. He rises up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He feels more than hears as Carlos lets out a sob, pulling them closer together as the kiss turns desperate. TK hadn’t realized just how much he missed touching Carlos, but now that he can hold him again, he never wants to let him go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulls away to stare right into Carlos’s eyes, raising a finger to wipe away the tears there. “I don’t want to be away from you this long ever again,” he states, speaking it like a declaration, like a vow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you promise?” Carlos asks, and TK can hear all of the questions that he’s asking in one. He knows that his recovery will continue, and that it will be hard; leaving here, it’s his first major challenge. He knows that he has a lot to apologize for and a lot to prove, both to himself and to everyone else in his life. He’s on a life-long journey that will never end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he’s certain now that he doesn’t want it to end, not anytime soon. He wants to keep living, and keep loving, and he’s pretty certain that he wants to do it with Carlos at his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise,” he says, pressing in for another kiss. “Now, take me home, Carlos.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he does.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm over on <a href="https://howtosingit.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> too, and I just really love Tarlos - so come freak out about these boys with me!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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